I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
