I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
