Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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