Do vagina's smell?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
