you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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