no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
