This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
