one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
