If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
