and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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