You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
