Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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