you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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