I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
