What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just want to make out with him forever
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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