omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize