I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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