i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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