Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
