I like my sex mixed with concussions.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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