He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
