i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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