my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
