i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
