He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
