my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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