hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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