I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
