Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
