I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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