is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I feel like abortions should bother me more
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize