I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
