the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
