craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
