uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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