The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
