im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
