You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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