chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
