i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize