I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
