i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
