Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
