So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
