Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
