so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
