LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
