If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize