her vagine was all disorganized.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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