hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
