How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
