why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
