you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
