Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
