Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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