Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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