you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
