Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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