i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize