you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it's like heaven, but drunker
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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