are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I need moral support for this bender
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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