what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
