then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
