There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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