Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
