I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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